Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
