Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
is that a dick in a sweater?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
