Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
