Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
