Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize