yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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