where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
