I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
