Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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