yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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