What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
barbara walters just said penis...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
