FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Girls should come with a carfax report
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
