Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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