if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Found your dick twin last night
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
