Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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