broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
