hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
COCAINE IS GR8
Panties = found
Randomize
