how can u be prego again
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you win again, gameday.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
