ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
