you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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