Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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