is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
