Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
