Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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