I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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