Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
