I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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