thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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