i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
