how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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