I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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