Fuck appropriateness.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
