Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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