He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
