ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize