My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
