we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
