i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
