butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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