I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize