I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
