Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
