And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
