i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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