im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
