she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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