Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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