Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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