have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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