just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
