On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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