I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
