Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
