True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize