I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
