Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
