i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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