God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
