I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You pole danced in your parka.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize