I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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