I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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