with your own penis?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
