worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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