he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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