I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
