The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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