I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
