I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
