Whod you bang
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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