I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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