that's an acceptable place to lick
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
