Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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