What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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