The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
