so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
