Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
